Not the type of runs that pleased Border
CRICKET: Matt Renshaw was lucky to make it to the dressing room toilet in time in Pune late on Thursday. But it would seem even luckier he doesn't have Allan Border as captain.
The Australian opener was involved in one of the most bizarre moments in Test history as his classy debut innings on Indian soil was suddenly put on hold for a mad, desperate dash to the toilet, as illness struck him like a bolt of lightning.
Australia's dream start on the first morning in Pune was thrown into chaos in a drama that could only happen in incredible India.
"It came pretty suddenly, probably about five or 10 minutes before Davey [Warner] got out I asked [umpire] Richard [Kettleborough] how long there was to lunch and he gave me the answer of half an hour," Renshaw said.
"I was struggling a bit then so it wasn't an ideal situation to be in.
"It was tough. I wasn't too sure on the ruling. I didn't know you could retire ill so I thought I'd just have to get out there and make sure I batted until lunch.
"It was probably a couple of hours (of sickness). I felt quite bad knowing I could be letting the team down.
"That's why I went back out there. I just wanted to do my bit for the team and just try and make sure we had a pretty good day.
"It wasn't an ideal situation so I just had to make do, and then coming back it was probably a bit strange for me waiting to bat because as an opener you just go straight out there and bat. So that was probably the most challenging bit, waiting to bat.
"(Steve Smith) wasn't too thrilled about (going off) but he understands when you need to go to the toilet you've got to go to the toilet. So it wasn't an ideal scenario but it's life pretty much."
As Dean Jones would well know, Border had little sympathy for teammates who were violently ill, and not even Renshaw's Queensland heritage could save him from a withering spray from Australia's toughest skipper.
"I hope he's lying on the table in there half dead," said Border on Fox Sports. "Otherwise, as captain, I would not be happy."
Amid all the chaos, Renshaw's unprecedented exit might have been hard to fathom, but when he didn't return after Shaun Marsh's wicket fell after unch, it became evident that this was no mere stomach rumbling.
He did, however, return when Peter Handscomb was trapped plumb leg before 15 minutes from tea.
Word out of the Australian camp was that Renshaw was untroubled when he went out to bat at the start of play, only for the sickness to hit him like a ton of bricks.
He wasn't quite "half dead", but the 20-year-old, on his first tour of India, was in trouble.
They might not breed them as tough as they did in the 1980s, but no batsman wants to leave the crease, especially when you're 36 not out and in the process of compiling a memorable knock under extreme pressure.
Renshaw said in response to Border after Thursday's play: "That's just something I guess he grew up with and that was his mentality but Steve was good and he understands when you need to go to the toilet you've got to go to the toilet."
Smith, who had just walked out to the middle after David Warner's dismissal at 1-82, appeared perplexed as an agitated Renshaw met him halfway to the fence.
Former captain Michael Clarke was stunned in commentary as he struggled to fathom what he was watching as Shaun Marsh hurriedly joined Smith at the crease as the second new batsmen - all this just 15 minutes before lunch.
But their reactions were nothing compared to Border's brutal assessment.
Border claimed that had Warner not been dismissed, Renshaw wouldn't have left the field.
"I don't think I've ever seen that before. He's obviously just got an upset stomach to some degree and he was probably trying to use the situation where David Warner had just been dismissed to race off the ground and go to the toilet," Border said on Fox.
"What happened in the ensuing time there, I can't ever think of a situation like that that's happened before where someone's gone off because they're a bit ill.
"If David Warner hadn't got out then he wouldn't have even thought about it. It's a bit of an odd situation. He probably thought he had time to race off the ground and get back on while the new batsman was coming out to the crease.
"I can tell you what, if Shaun Marsh was dismissed in those last 15 minutes I would've been ropeable as captain."