Honesty pays for those looking for love online
VEDA Dante, 45, met her partner, James Mayson, six and a half years ago via an online dating site. "I had done everything. I'd gone on blind dates, went to parties, even entered a dating competition in a major Sydney newspaper,” Veda (pictured) said.
"I really put myself out there because I was clear that I wanted to meet someone and have a family.
"After a few bad experiences with online dating, I was just about to take my profile down, when I stumbled across James and saw a really sweet photo of him with his dog, so I sent him a message.
"He replied immediately and within a couple of days we were messaging each other back, which was lovely.
"I had learnt the hard way that it's better to meet in person, sooner rather than later. So we did what most people suggest; we met for a coffee date. That went really well and we ended up seeing each other twice the following weekend.
"I remember clearly catching my breath when we met for our first dinner date, and that's when I felt the first spark. We dated for about two years before I moved in with James and his two gorgeous daughters.
"During that time, we slowly got to know each other and we fell in love. We are both writers and I adore the way he writes, so I'd say that's what really did it for me, his beautiful writing.
"That was six and a half years ago and we now live together, share a life and a family. I know a few people who are reticent to reveal the fact that they met their partners on dating sites but I'm happy to tell my story.
"At the time, most of my friends were married and I was no longer interested in going to bars or pubs, so pouring a glass of wine and looking online suited me just fine.”
Veda Dante's tips
- Number one - Be honest. I've met men who have lied about many things - one guy exaggerated his height by about a foot. It's silly, because as soon as you meet the person, you're disappointed - and you know they're not honest.
- Don't put it all out there in your profile. Just get the essence of who you are in your profile and leave some things to be discovered.
- Don't worry about differences. You might not share the same tastes in music, books or films but ultimately it doesn't matter when you share the same core values. I think you can miss out on opportunities if you get too hung up about those things when you're reading someone's profile.
- Arrange to meet sooner rather than later. You can waste a lot of time building up an online relationship, only to find when you do meet there's no chemistry.
- It's not an algorithm. There's still plenty of room for synchronicity with online dating. As it turned out, James and I had a lot of friends in common and had even been to the same parties. Plus, it's always going to come down to whether there's chemistry or not - and you can't fake that!