Hearing problems or selective hearing?

WHEN my sons were really young, I thought they both had hearing problems.

They never seemed to listen to me. 

I was so worried about them I took them to the doctor to get their ears checked.

"They just don't want to do what I ask them," I told the doctor. "I think there is something seriously wrong!"

The doctor promptly checked them out, gave them the okay and laughed and told me to get used to it for the next 18 years or so.

This "not listening" trick of theirs drives me absolutely up the wall - even now, even this morning!

On a daily basis I would say the following at least twenty times (no exaggeration!):

  • Get dressed - we're late!
  • Put your shoes on, no it goes on the other foot!
  • Eat your breakfast
  • Hurry up and get in the car
  • Hurry up and get out of the car
  • Put your shoes BACK ON!
  • Excuse me are you listening to me

The first time I ask them all normal and soft mummy like.

"C'mon darling boy, put your shoes on for Mummy - you can do it - come on". 

By the twentieth time I've lost my shit and am jumping up and down having a tantrum like a two-year-old after a bottle of red cordial.

My children KNOW it drives me crazy. 

And not just tearing out my hair crazy, 'should be carted away in a little white truck' crazy.

I see them glancing sideways at each other, as they both revel in my escalating frustration. 

They smirk and laugh, or run away giggling.

And whilst I should be happy that they are not arguing or physically tormenting each other, I can't get past the fact that they find my rising blood pressure quite amusing, which infuriates me even more!

Is it some kind of competition I can't remember playing?

"Let's see how crazy we can get Mummy before we leave the house."

Where are the rules? 

The sad thing is that I can whisper 'chocolate ice cream' and they will come running from the other side of the house. 

Yet when I ask them for the 10th time to clean up the legos off the carpet, hallway, lounge room, front steps and toilet - they rival even the hearing impaired.

So I come to the conclusion that there is a filter, installed at birth, that must become obsolete when we reach adulthood.

Or an almost supernatural ability, that we outgrow, that enables the power of selective hearing; singling out the information which we believe will benefit us, and that which is superfluous to our daily existence, ie cleaning mess, flushing toilets, packing school bags etc.

But my theory is tested however, by that of genetics.

You see, I only have boys that mirror their father, and his talent for selective hearing, whilst not as defined as my children's, is just as finely tuned when it comes to hearing (and remembering) information that comes from my mouth.  


-Jody Allen is the Editor of Stay at Home Mum Pty Ltd www.stayathomemum.com.au

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